24 May, 2006

Hitched

It seems I forgot to let you guys in on a little secret. Nord, and I, are taking the plunge. We are going to be married on the 4th of July. While that date means nothing to an Aussie lass, it is good for me on a few points:

1) I’ll never forget the anniversary.
2) It will have dual meanings for me. It is the Independence Day of my country, and it signifies the start of my new life (my Independence Day for the horrible past).
3) Whenever we go back to the States during our Anniversary, there will always be fireworks in our honour!

Sound good? I think it does. It will definitely be a good life.

If you want to see the set of matching rings we are buying, you can find them here:
Celtic Rings

The one I am buying is at the bottom right hand corner, and is number K184G, titled ‘Love’. She is getting the smaller version that is directly to the left labeled K184L. They will be both be made with the yellow gold band, and white gold Celtic insert.

Mine is going to be huge! 8.3mm is going to take up a bit of real estate on my ring finger. Nevertheless, that’s well, and fine, because it will be bling - bling. I also have been informed by my lady that she will be very cross with me if she hears of anyone receiving their own personalized imprint from my ring. All I can say is, “I can’t help it if works out as a secondary brass knuckle, now can I?”

Celti, girl, I think you will dig them.

22 May, 2006

Jacqueline

I don't feel much like posting a long sordid affair today, but I thought I'd post a picture of "Jack". She is a Jack Russell Terrier that me and Nord got for free on Anzac day (Her previous owners were moving and they couldn't have a dog at the new place.).

She's my buddy, and we hang out together, around the house all day, while Nord's gone to work.



A Tale of Two Names

Apparantly, I am an attraction to those who have nothing better to do than troll online screen names. I was just reading Inanna's blog (reaquainting myslef you might say) and was accosted by this bastard.


HumpyhumpDay736: hey! sorry, i switched screennames
seeker5519: and who is this
HumpyhumpDay736: my name is james
seeker5519: and I know you ...how?
HumpyhumpDay736: me? no
seeker5519: then why are you instant messaging me
HumpyhumpDay736: maybe ;-)
seeker5519: Seeing as I am not homosexual I think that is not going to happen
HumpyhumpDay736: i'm nots ure
seeker5519: Ah yes, I can see you are an illiterate mongloid as well.
HumpyhumpDay736: yup thats my name :-)
seeker5519: Yes, well quit being a gadfly and move along.
HumpyhumpDay736: ok
HumpyhumpDay736: ???
seeker5519: Bzzzzzzz
HumpyhumpDay736: :-P
HumpyhumpDay736: Are you still there?
seeker5519: Yes, but I thought I told you I do not know you nor wish to associate with the likes of you.
HumpyhumpDay736: oops, sorry
seeker5519: Yes.. your mistake now go find some other pre-pubescent to diddle
HumpyhumpDay736: thats good
HumpyhumpDay736: please talk, i'll be good lol
HumpyhumpDay736: You have been talking to a computer! One of your friends is reading the whole conversation and laughing it up right now! GET EVEN! Have the bot prank all your friends by visiting imprank.ebaumsworld(dot)com
seeker5519: "Good" has nothing to do with it. This would be the same as me coming up to your door, and trying to create a conversation............Fucker

And yes, my friends, it seems as if old Seeker has been had.

20 May, 2006

The Theatre

When I first came to Australia, we lived in a town by the name of Griffith. There is not much to do there in the way of excitement (with the exception of going to the pub), but there is a movie theatre present so one night we gave it a ‘What the Hell’, and had a night of it.

Now, I have to say that I did not think anything would be much different than exists in the States. I mean to ask, “How can you screw up a movie theatre?”

I found out.

The first thing I noticed upon entry was that it was extremely warm in the lobby. The entrance doors were open to the air, and there were quite a few people milling about waiting to go into their particular cinema. This did not set me off due to the fact that the outside temp was ranging from 40-46 degrees Celsius - of course it is going to be warm.

While waiting to enter the cinema that our particular movie was showing (the latest Harry Potter) I decided to buy some candy, and a Coke. My choice was limited (three kinds of candy bars), I chose a Boost bar, and the drink. Now, when I go to the movies one of my favourite things to do is to get the biggest drink they have - a fresh Coke out of the fountain is nice.

“Sorry mate, all we have is 600ml’s” - this equates to a 20oz drink. “Really? Oh, okay just get me one of those that will be fine.”

“That’s 9.00”
Grumbling, I pay the cashier - the words ‘Highway Robbery’ and a few choice expletives enter my mind. The candy bar was one of those small ones you can buy for a dollar at the store.

Looking around I see a multitude of the younger generation. Griffith being the small town it is, I figure that there isn’t much to do and this is the hang out. However, I must admit I had my doubts. Too many unsupervised kids always seems like trouble waiting to happen. Nothing I can do about it. The doors are opening to the cinema, and we make our way to our seats.

Upon entry I am greeted by a time warp. The world fades in and out like a psychedelic video. A voice speaks gently into my subconscious, “Yes, my friend you have just bought a ticket to the Twilight Zone”.

The only description that can give this cinematic experience justice is to state that I had just stepped through a doorway that was in all actuality a time machine starting in the year 2006 and as I exited the thresh hold I entered the 1950’s - the walls, the posters, the décor - everything in its place. I think that the only thing missing was the built in ash trays that used to exist in theatre seating.

Stunned into silence I don’t have much to say and we take our seats. The fake vinyl (that’s right the vinyl was so old it wasn’t even real) chairs were permanently indented with many year’s worth of buttocks. Trying a few seats, we finally find a couple that were a little more comfortable than the last.

Settling in, I realise something is terribly amiss. I look across towards the doorway that we came through, and could see through the shimmering time portal that 2006, still indeed, did exist. Then it hit me with the force of a freight train. The smell. There are few words to describe what 50 plus years of ‘Ass Sweat’ smells like. It was everywhere. I was afraid that my over active imagination was pulling me into the nether regions of hell so I asked my lady for verification. Her reply was simply stated through her wrinkled nose “You didn’t smell that until now? Oh my God! I have been disgusted since we came in here.”

Good, Good, I am not the only one feeling like this is an odd world of movie going.

The thing about stench is that after a particular amount of time most of them seem to fade away. This one did to some degree, but due to the lack of air conditioning, and capacity of the theatre filling with bodies there was not much relief.

Sweating profusely, I intend to make the best of it.

Looking to my watch, I notice that the movie should have started fifteen minutes earlier, and just as I start to say something to my girl, the lights go out. We are sitting in total darkness - The technology of the dimming light switch must have not reached Griffith. A light finally appears from behind us as the projector starts up - the clack, clack, clacking of the reels denoting something definitely old world.

There is an image being shown, but it is not on a movie screen. It seems that the curtain is having difficulties. That is right, my friends, there still exists in this world a theatre that actually has a curtain in it that hides the movie screen between showings. However, this is no ordinary curtain - Oh No! This curtain has magical properties whereby it opens and closes ten times all by itself while the projector is showing us the previews.

The magic curtain ride is finally over and we get to watch the advertisements, and previews. This is the most enjoyment I have had as of yet. The adverts are actually hand drawn. It looks as if they hired some preschoolers to make them up. These were for the local car lot, and the local grocery store. Next, we get the singing candy finding the rubbish bin, but where we would have graphics, animation, and a nifty song to go with the “Don’t Litter” campaign we get still pictures with some song.

Crazy stuff.


The movie actually does start, and then the hooligans start up. Screaming, yelling, and hollering profanities to one another. Cell phones light up, ring, and make noise enough to wake the dead.

I’m getting pissed. My lady notices and grabs my leg telling me to let it be. ”Okay, Okay, but if they don’t quit soon I am going to say something.” She smiles at me, and goes back to watching the movie.

A few minutes later a man a few seats in front of us goes crazy, and yells at them to “Shut the Bloody Hell up!”

Sweet.

Twenty minutes later they are acting up again, and the guy loses his mind and starts screaming at the top of his lungs as he runs over to where the kids are sitting and threatens to kick their little asses.

Smiling to myself, I realise that the movie is half way over and I have not idea what is going on.

The kids are quiet, and I settle in to watch the show.

The movie comes off the reel. It has to be reloaded.

The sound messes up, and we miss an important part of the show.

Now the kids in the back of the theatre are acting up.

I look for the guy who lost his mind, but he must have left at some point In the movie because his seat is empty.

Silently cussing this whole outing, I wait for this nightmare to be over and, at some point, it is. Stepping back through that doorway and into the year of our Lord 2006 was the best thing that happened to me.

19 May, 2006

Variety

The spice of the American daily life is the ability to have anything we want when we want it. The plethora of 24-hour stores, the vast amount of competition, and the low prices create consumer demand as well, as create the fulfillment of needs we prescribe ourselves.

This creates an issue when one decides to move to another country. You do not have the items you accustom yourself, the variety wanes - the prices are exorbitant.

Below are some of the differences that I have had to accept.

1) Eggs - the breakfast food for a world - in the U.S. you find your eggs in the dairy section under refrigeration, and they are (almost always) white in colour. Not here, they are brown and cost three to four dollars a dozen. You will find them on the grocery aisle; usually near the cereals.
2) Ketchup, catsup, tomato sauce are totally different. You can find Ketchup here, but it tastes a bit sweet. Tomato sauce is a condiment. It is definitely not used in the making of your spaghetti, or lasagna, sauces.
3) BBQ sauce - there is no comparison to the multitude of flavours we have in the states. I am used to the range of spicy to the mild smoky tastes. In Australia the sauce is used in place of ketchup, and mustard, and is very sweet.
4) You will not find pickles on your hamburgers. Instead, you have to make sure that the person taking your order removes the beetroot.
5) Mustard is not found in abundance, and if you are lucky enough to score some, it will be of the spicy English variety (talk about burning the nose hairs).
6) Grocery stores inside of shopping malls.
7) TV shows that start at 7 minutes after the hour, and at a different time each day.
8) Commercials where a North American brown bear is speaking in an Australian accent (I find this a personal sacrilege! This is like having a ‘roo with an American accent.)
9) News stories where there is actually something positive in nature - and not the normal doom and gloom.
10) Restaurants closing shop from the hours of 2-5pm.
11) Cigarette packages now show mouth disease, lung cancer, arterial blockage, and many nasty things. That’s right; there are pictures of these events on the actual cigarette packages!
12) Most houses do not have air conditioning, or central heating.
13) How is it that the sun can be so different here? As an example, I thought I would lie out and try to reduce some of the brilliant white skin that exists on 80% of my body. After 30 minutes, I went inside sun burnt, and with purple nipples too boot! Have you ever had a burnt titty? It bloody hurts.
14) Parrots that fly about and caw a horrid sound that makes you jump out of your skin.

This ends my thoughts for today, may you realise what you have while you have it.

18 May, 2006

A Sacking

It would have been much easier to have written of my exploits as they happened, but since I have not done that we are going to explore the depths of my memory as recollection comes forth.

A few weeks back I was in the newsie (news agent) buying some papers, and a coke. I made the purchase, and realised that I would not be able to take my goods into the grocery - this was my next intended target - without procuring a storage device.

The following transpired:

The clerk asks, “Is that the lot?”
“Yeah.”
“That will be fourteen dollars thirty.”

Money exchanges hands.

“Cheers.”
“Um, can I have a sack?”
With a look of utter consternation she asks, “A sack?”
Confused as to what the issue is with requesting a sack, I repeat myself, “Yeah, a sack.”

This girl has no idea in hell what I am talking about. In my confusion I have concluded that no other word exists for a tool that will allow me to take my goods into the other store.

I then start the pantomime. Taking my right hand and shaping it into a fist - I hold it up. I then take my left hand and motion as if I am putting the other hand into a sack. The repetition comes into play, “Ya know, a SaaaaCK!” My mind for some reason thought that by expounding upon the word she would get the hint. Instead, we stand there looking at one another as if the other is a total moron.

Finally, she gets it.

“Do you… mean… a bag?”
“Yes, that’s it! A bag.” I state this to myself as a magic word, “bag” a word that can achieve my wants, my desires, the fulfillment of my current needs.

She grabs up my goods, places them into the bag. The deed is done.
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Ref. note: The word “sack” in Aussie speak refers to a canvas type bag - one, for instance, in which you would place potatoes.

15 May, 2006

A Start

Yes, it does seem to me that I have been away for much longer than what was intended. Sometimes one must take their life by the hand and make changes, so that we do not become complacent.

During my time in limbo I have done much soul searching, as well as healing. My past seems a distant memory - one that is a fugue of smelly old shoes, and dirty underwear. The time to start anew planted itself firmly in my backside, and I grabbed it falling headfirst into a world that had previously only existed as fantasy.

I have been in Australia since October 28, 2005. My original intention was to write immediately after my arrival. The daily grind would be written out, here in my blog. This never happened. Call me lazy, slack, or whatever suits your fancy. I just didn’t feel the need. But now that I have fulfilled my laziness, and moved past being who I was (and into who I now am) I think I will be able to write, yet once again, the silliness that my life seems to bring about.

When I arrived in Griffith, I had a book in mind. It was a carry-over from my past, and I still may bring life to it yet. However, for now, I have begun a journey into a whole new concept of children’s books. It is with this new thought in mind that I am using this blog as a so-called warm up session each day. To get my creative juices a flowing this blog will be a step out of redundancy, and into creative operation.

What the hell does that mean?

It doesn’t matter.

What does matter is that I get my ass in gear and actually finish the book I have started. It means that I need to quit mucking about. It means that I need to take the world by the horns and pull it into submission. I need to make things go where I envision them, not to let myself be dragged by the current as it pulls me from here to there.

Fate can be ruled, once you see the options before you.


Enough of all that jazz…

I have been in Australia since October, and am still living here. My place of residence has moved from Griffith to Goulburn. I like this a hell of a lot more (I must state emphatically). Goulburn is only an hour and a half from Sydney, and an Hour to the beach.

I think this is enough of a warm-up for now, time to get cracking. I’ll be writing of my travails on a daily basis from now on.

See you in the arvo,

Seeker